Old Friends

Recently, I was sharing a quick dinner and conversation with two women I met in line at a busy restaurant. We teamed up our needs to be seated and fed and willingly shared the table. All of us were attending a musical event next door and wanted a quick dinner before the show. This common goal itself was enough to start conversation and get to know a bit about each other. We were already fans of the performer we were about to see and we obviously enjoyed Italian food. What more do you need to spend a little time with someone? Wine, pasta, and song have often been the start of wonderful relationships!

We began with garlic bread and “how do you know each other?” One was a nurse and the other a teacher. They had met in high school 35 years before. Through divorces, children, and all the things that come with life, they had remained friends. Since I was about to join a friend at the event that I had known since junior high school, I did not find this unusual. I have friends as far back as grade school that I still talk to and see from time to time. Facebook has made that easier than it was, but we were still in touch before there ever was a Facebook.

When you are from a small town and you manage to go through grades 1-12 with many of the same people, you form bonds. You have history. They “knew you when”. I also attended a nearby college with several of them. It’s easy to stay friends with the peer group that you shared activities and common values with for decades. We lived in the same neighborhoods. We were in band and drill teams that performed at our school football games. We carpooled and rode bikes together. We know secrets and failings. We have shared our lives.

It makes no difference that some of us stayed and some of us moved away. It doesn’t matter that we have vastly different jobs, families, and interests. We still have those shared moments from long ago that will only leave us when we depart this world. We cheered each other on. We cried when we lost friends to car crashes or cancer or even worse. We’ve known each other from the beginning of what made us who we were to become.

Sure, there are many I’ve lost touch with. There are many who choose not to be in touch. And that’s O.K. But if you were a good person and you grew up with good people, why would you lose that connection? Staying in touch is easier than ever. You don’t even need a stamp or a long distance carrier! A Facebook post or a text keeps you up with what’s going on in each other’s lives and at the very least you are able to connect for the important things like births, deaths, celebrations or sickness.

Why wouldn’t I want to share an evening of wine, pasta, and song with that crazy girl I carpooled with to high school for 3 years after having sat next to her in the junior high band for 4 years before that? We know where we come from and how we got where we are now. 

Nothing takes the place of that.